Your course cut through all the bullshit
I read the hyped-up books by big-name psychologists, dragged him to counseling and took the programs that are plastered all over the Internet. They had ZERO effect. All they did was prolong the miserable status quo of his shitty behavior and me putting up with it, always hoping tomorrow would see a change. They worked AGAINST me. They were just too weak, too watered down. Your course cut through all the bullshit and was truly the voice of clarity and reason. I probably listened to it six times – you really have been my “lifeline.” Everything you said was so spot-on that I just kept shaking my head, thinking “Why didn’t I find this first?” If I had, the last few months would have played out a lot differently, I’ll tell you that. I will never go back to the way it was. And now that I know what’s really happening and what to do about it, I don’t have to. Me and my marriage are getting stronger every day. You have a hug and a great cup of coffee waiting for you in Seattle if you’re ever in town. Love ya xo
Wise but slightly mouthy aunt
Deb’s advice is like that wise but slightly mouthy aunt you go to when you need somebody to kick you in the pants and give you a hug at the same time.
I was totally resigned to being in a loveless marriage
After months of useless counseling, I was totally resigned to being in a loveless marriage. I never thought for a minute that there was a way to recapture the kind of affection or sexual passion that we used to have. You’re a miracle worker.
“Whoa, slow down, cowboy!”
I remember telling you that my wife was crazy and you said, “Whoa, slow down, cowboy!” I still laugh when I think of that. I definitely wasn’t seeing her side of things and I was so angry that I had stopped trying. You were able to show me the light and I really appreciate it. Things are going great.
We’re better than we’ve been in years
I was so sick and tired of worrying about where he was and what he was doing. I was so tired of being humiliated by checking his texts. It was exhausting and demeaning. You turned the whole situation around and I saw that I had more power than I thought. If I hadn’t have found that, I would either be divorced or medicated. We’re better than we’ve been in years.
Unapologetically good at what she does
Informed, engaging and unapologetically good at what she does. Deb’s our fave.
Exactly the type of person we needed
I knew in the first ten minutes of our conversation that you were exactly the type of person we needed to break out of the same cycle of arguing, making up, arguing, making up. Thank you for your incredible sense of humor. Thank you for swearing like a sailor. Thank you for being a real person on the other end of the line. Just thank you.
You get the panic. You get the fear.
You got me through the worst couple weeks of my life. Our morning phone chats didn’t just save my marriage, they saved my sanity. You get the panic. You get the fear. And you helped me get over it so that I could do what needed to be done if my husband and me were ever going to reconnect. I’m so happy that we have.
Debra knows her stuff
Debra knows her stuff and has helped many of our readers with her practical guidance.
Talking to you was like talking to a wise friend
The day I finally got the courage to call you, I thought my wife was walking out the door and that was it. I was embarrassed and thought you’d judge me, but you didn’t. Talking to you was like talking to a wise friend. You helped me dig myself out of a hole and show her that I was worth a second chance. I’m not going to waste it, either.
Deb is far and away the best support I have ever talked to
I was given Deb’s name by a friend who had heard of her, and had heard that she was amazing. My husband and I were in desperate need of some help and were on the verge of calling it quits. We had gone through marriage counselling before, and although some of the tips we were given were lovely in theory, putting them into practice proved to be a little more challenging and artificial then we had wanted. My husband and I are both blunt people, we prefer to be told how it is , and try to tell it like it is, even if the message may be a bit more difficult to hear, being blunt is how we live our lives. Enter Deb – Deb is far and away the best support I have ever talked to. She listened attentively and was engaged the whole time. She told me how it was, in real life terms and helped me navigate the challenging road I was on. In the hardest times in my marriage she was a breath of fresh air, brutally honest and caring – I could not have asked for anything else. She made me laugh, cry, feel normal and gave me the tools I needed that were applicable in real life and more importantly my life. Deb was very efficient in listening to what I needed and also gave me a set of working tools to use for the period in my life that I was in, we worked through my needs as they changed. The greatest gift Deb gave me was helping me know my self-worth and getting my confidence back, she helped me work through a lot of the issues that I had, and I know going forward she would always be there to help me again. I loved the method that she used, talking on the phone, to each of us separately and then bringing it all together. It allowed for it to be a safe place to chat where you could say exactly what you are feeling. Deb is amazing at what she does and I would recommend her to anyone.
Plucky advice, but it’s what people need to keep marriages running smoothly.
Now I actually enjoy coming home
Half the time I felt like a beaten dog, just worn down by her negativity and having to walk on eggshells. Now I actually ENJOY coming home. I can relax and have fun with her and my kids and I feel APPRECIATED for what I do. That’s all I ever wanted.
You managed to shake us up and set us straight in two appointments
Our last counselor drew it out until our insurance coverage was maxed out. All he did was sit there and nod. We raged at each other after every appointment because we were just so pissed off with him and the whole situation. Then we found you. You managed to shake us up and set us straight in two appointments. It was like counseling but without the bullshit. You are excellent at what you do. Thank you, Deb.
Glad we paid you instead of a divorce lawyer
Best money we’ve ever spent. Worth every cent and more. Glad we paid you instead of a divorce lawyer. We were able to understand where each of us was coming from – that was something we hadn’t ever really been able to do. I’m surprised we held on as long as we did. I’ve said it before, but thank you for everything you did for us.
After one session I felt like there was hope
You brought common sense and clarity to a chaotic situation. After one session I felt like there was hope.
I had no idea he was feeling as unloved and miserable as I was
I had spent the better part of two years feeling invisible in my own marriage and house. He’d rather do anything other than spend time with me. He had completely stopped helping me around the house, and he couldn’t be bothered to spend time with the kids or show me any kind of affection. Anytime I asked, it just ended up with us in a screaming match, him storming off and disappearing for hours, and me crying in my bedroom. You helped me break that whole pattern and come at things from a totally different angle. It took a lot of humility at first, but I forced myself to do what you said and the effect was almost instantaneous. I had no idea he was feeling as unloved and miserable as I was. We are rebuilding something that will be stronger than ever. It was such a low time in my life, Deb, but you were a saving grace to me.
I feel now that someone finally gets me
After our 1st talk, I could already see the mistakes I was making in my approach towards re-building my relationship with my husband. I was also able to put some of the negativity and hurt aside and look from a new angle at things. You helped me see that I was not paranoid in asking for what I was asking, I was just not doing it in the right ways. I am really looking forward to getting your new book and also trying out all the new things we talked about. I feel now that someone finally gets me and is ready to help me get out of this mess and save our marriage. Thank you so much for all your advice and tips. I look forward to working with you and I am hopeful that things will turn around. I just wish I had found you sooner 🙂